The Presence
by chawk1993
Summary: *ONE-SHOT* Devastation is everywhere and there no hiding it. For Ahsoka, discovering Vader's true identity is as shocking as it is heartbreaking. For Kanan, it is seeing the devastation on the face of his fellow surviving Jedi. For Vader, sensing his former friend and Padawan brings back haunting memories of the past. For Ezra, it is hard not to ask questions about the past.


**A/N:** _Hi all. This one-shot accompanies the Star Wars Rebels Season 2 Premiere, Siege of Lothal. I loved the way that the 'reveal' of Anakin being Vader was presented to Ahsoka but I didn't expect it to occur until later in season 2 but oh well. I loved how she was utterly horrified by this revelation and it really goes to show just how close she was to him, especially when she passes out into Kanan's arms when the realisation hits and it was truly devastating to watch even though you knew it was coming. Now, I was going to post this fic in the Rebels archive section but because the story mentions other characters like Padmé, Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan and Depa Billaba, I thought it would be wise to post it in here in the Star Wars archive. After all, I've posted Clone Wars centric stories here before._

 _In terms of characterisations, I really struggled with Vader. I could write Ahsoka and Kanan right but Vader's was difficult as I've never actually written Vader before. Also, the Vader section goes a bit off topic. Ezra was a little bit easier but I ran out of stuff to write for him as its been a while since I've seen Siege of Lothal so I do apologise for that. I used quotes from the episode to give it that much more emotion. So, without further ado, I give you, The Presence._

* * *

 **The Presence**

* * *

 _Ahsoka_

 _The Fear… The Anger… The Hate…_

The words are haunting. Paralyzing. I knew those emotions only too well. I had felt them on a daily basis during the Clone Wars. I had been lied to. My master hadn't died during Order 66. He had been the one to lead it. He had betrayed the Jedi. I cannot believe he would do such a thing to those who had taken him in. Had he not been the Jedi's so-called Chosen One?

Vader.

There was no love within him. No warmth. Nothing of what I knew.

The man I remember was warm, kind and an all around goofball who had a dark past and a huge secret sitting on his shoulders. In the man I sense, there was none of that. There is no kindness. No willingness to help others. What happened to my SkyGuy? My brother. My friend.

Had he caused Padmé's death? What became of the child she had been carrying? Had she given birth? Had the child died with her? Did he know?

I knew about them. I knew of their marriage. I knew he was the father of her child. I hadn't said anything to either of them but I think Padmé knew that I knew. She had been giving me hints. I had also made my own observations. His panic whenever she became involved with one of our missions. The looks he would give her and the ones she would give him. His thoughts whenever we left on some mission. I knew him better then I think he realised.

That doesn't matter now. He's gone. He's never coming back.

Thinking of him makes me think of a certain teenage princess from Alderaan; my niece and goddaughter. Something clicks. She's his. She is his biological daughter. Padmé had given birth to a daughter. The child hadn't died. How could Bail have kept this from me? He knew how much _he_ had meant to me.

I can see it clearly now. While Leia looks mostly like her mother, I have seen elements of her father within her. His stubbornness. His defiance. His love and compassion for what he believed in. Padmé shared that trait with him. I can slightly see him in her appearance too. She had has his cheeks and his jaw.

I loved him. Not romantically. Never anything like that. I knew his heart would always belong to Padmé. I loved him like only a sister could. A little sister who idolised her big brother. That's what he was. A big brother to me.

I can only imagine what life would have been for us if I hadn't of left the Order. What it would have been like if he hadn't of become Vader.

He would have been a doting father of a little girl and the loving husband that Padmé could have been proud of. I know they would have had me involved. I would have been Aunt Ahsoka or Auntie Snips to that little girl. I wouldn't be Fulcrum. I wouldn't have to hide that fact that I am a survivor of Order 66.

I think of Obi-Wan. Does he know Vader is still alive? Does he know who he really is? If I knew where he was or if he was even still alive I would contact him. I know it would be painful reminder for both of us but…

I cannot bring myself to think of that. I know I shouldn't blame him for what happened to me but the pain, even fifteen years later is still very raw. I lost everything.

Order 66 had made me lose everything. My friends. My surrogate family.

I feel suffocated. Lost. My life suddenly has more of a purpose then it before. I will fight for Leia's freedom. That girl is the only part of him that I have left. But one thing bothers me.

Why do I keep dreaming of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy living on Tatooine? He looks familiar but how, I cannot be sure as I never seen him in my life.

I think hard.

It registers.

The boy is Anakin's son. But how can that be? I had sensed that Padmé had only been carrying one. She had died after giving birth so how was this boy their son? He looked so much like him. I remember the holo-vids I use to watch as a Jedi Youngling. I remember a video of a young blonde boy a little younger then the one from my dreams, following around a young looking Obi-Wan and asking a lot of questions.

Then I remember one of the same blonde boy that had been with Obi-Wan but a bit older. He had to be at least my age when I had become a Padawan. His blonde hair had become a dirty blonde. His hair is shorter. There is another I remember. The video had been recorded just months before we met on Christophsis. He had been a Padawan himself and very much the guy I met that faithful day on Christophsis. He is cockier then I remember. More reckless. More… angry. He feels like Obi-Wan is smothering him. Does this mean he thought Obi-Wan was jealous of him? Whatever the case, I don't ponder on it.

I know that he still existed as his former self that he would be proud of who I have become. He would have praised me instead of trying to kill me. There's the question that I have feared.

Would he kill me if I refused to join him? Would I suffer the same fate as Padmé? Would I be nothing more then a painful reminder of who he once was? The answer: probably.

I hate this. I hate how everything that we spent three years trying to stop has simply been blown out into space.

This isn't world Padmé had wanted. This isn't the world she had wanted the twins to grow up in.

The man I knew is gone and will never return to me. If anything, he would have forgotten who he once was. A good and selfless man who cherished everything and everyone he held dear. Me. His wife. Obi-Wan. His unborn child. He will never know that he fathered two children, not the one.

I wish everyday that things could have been different. I feel that I and I alone am the reason why he is now the monster he vowed never to become. He is the reason Padmé is dead. He is the reason the twins were separated at birth. He is the reason why the Jedi were wiped out. Why what remains of our once proud religion is being hunted and slaughtered for what they were.

He is a traitor.

A lost cause.

He is no longer my friend.

My brother.

The man Padmé thought she married.

The man who the twins could have called their father.

The boy Obi-Wan had considered a son.

A little brother.

He is nothing to us now.

He is a machine.

* * *

 _Kanan_

" _I haven't sensed a presence like that since…"_

" _The Clone Wars."_

Could it be? How did this happen?

I feel Ahsoka's fear long before it registers in my brain.

She knew him. He was her Master.

I know the presence well, despite never having met him in person.

I remember stories my own Master use to tell me about him. He had been the Hero with No Fear. I often remember asking her how it was possible not to have any fear.

I remember Master Depa's response every time I asked.

" _It's a metaphor. He has fears. He just knows how to control them."_

The presence Ahsoka and I felt was the same, only stronger. More… fearful. He was Anakin Skywalker in the… armor? What happened to the once powerful and noble Jedi Knight that fought alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi? How did he become so terrifying? So ruthless. So cold.

I can feel Ahsoka's devastation but she is trying to stay strong. She knows I know what she knows. If it were my Master, I would be feeling the same but unlike Ahsoka, I hadn't known my master all that long. She had known Skywalker for almost three years.

From the stories I heard during my time as a Padawan, Skywalker and Ahsoka were practically two peas in a pod. Close friends. They were almost never apart. They worked as a unit. A team.

I never knew them during the war though I did come close once. My master and I had been assigned to join them on a mission but we got called away at the last minute. I knew who they both were and I knew younglings who had been taught by Ahsoka at some point or another. I had seen Ahsoka in the halls of the Temple but never got the chance to introduce myself.

Caleb Dume.

My old life.

It was a surprise when Hera revealed that she had known who Ahsoka had been all along. The mysterious Fulcrum. I'm surprised Vader hadn't worked it out. Did he even know that his former Padawan was in fact the co-leader of the rebels? What would he do if got his hands on her? Would he try to get her to find other Jedi so he could kill them? Would he try to turn her to the Dark Side? Or would he simply kill her if she refused to join him?

I do not want to ponder that thought, even for a second.

After walking out of the Ghost's cockpit after talking with Ahsoka, I can still feel Ezra's eyes on me. I know he wants to ask more questions but I simply shake my head, telling him that Ahsoka needs her space.

He lets it go… for now. I hate lying to the kid but I don't really have much of a choice. If Ahsoka had wanted to tell him the truth, she would have. When you're a Jedi, you tend to keep things bottled up until you explode. Ahsoka is no different. I heard a lot of stories of how she and Skywalker use to cope with things during the war and they weren't all pretty.

If I could comfort Ahsoka in any way, I would but I cannot, as I know I will only be a reminder of what Ahsoka has lost. Her friends. Her freedom. Her dignity. Her family.

I remember the Holonet reports from what is known as the infamous Jedi Temple Hangar Bombing. Ahsoka had been branded a traitor with almost everyone believing she would commit such a crime. I was one of the few younglings that didn't believe she was capable of such a thing. I had heard of such great things she had done. Why would the Jedi believe she would do such a thing after all the good she had done?

I remember the stories that had circulated around the Jedi Temple after Ahsoka's departure. I even remember overhearing Master Skywalker venting to Master Kenobi about how much he hated the council for what they put Ahsoka through. I remember Master Obi-Wan's sigh as he tried to comfort his mourning former Padawan. I remember a small part of what he use to say:

" _Ahsoka made her own decision. I know you are still hurting but she had to do what she had to. It would not have mattered what either of us would have said. She would have left either way."_

I can still remember the words as clearly as if they were said yesterday. I then remember my master catching me and reprimanding me for eavesdropping. I don't regret the eavesdropping though at the time, I didn't understand why Skywalker had been so upset but now I do.

Attachment.

It was common knowledge that Skywalker had an issue with attachment. Every Jedi knew that, even those who hadn't met Skywalker in person.

I think back to the duel that Ezra and I had engaged in with the Inquisitor when something registers.

I remember hearing about Mustafar being where Jedi go to die but I never believed it. Not completely.

The sounds of clashing lightsabres enters my mind and I am instantly thrown into a vision.

My vision is red, orange, black and yellow and incredibly ashy. Mustafar's surface or rather, its lava banks.

I see two figures dueling with lightsabres, expertly avoiding the lava below them. Was this how one of the most influential Jedi 'died'? Did Ahsoka know this was how her master fell? Did she know of the monster Skywalker had become? Judging by her reaction, she knew all right. I can still feel her fear as if it was a part of me.

Coldness. Familiarity. Heartbreak.

If it were my master I would have been stood there, frozen with fear.

Ahsoka was taking this was grace.

From all the stories I have heard over the years of her bravery and temperament, I never thought that she would be able to hold her emotions in and mourn in silence. It must have been hard on her. I couldn't begin to imagine how she felt at discovering her master wasn't dead and was very much a tyrant.

I pity her. I feel sorry for her. I hope she finds closure.

* * *

 _Darth Vader_

 _The Apprentice Lives…_

Tano. She lives after all these years. She could lead us to other lost Jedi. Kenobi. I know he survived. As for others, I do not know but I know others survived the purges.

Tano is the reason I am the way I am. As is Kenobi. I could have ruled the galaxy but they got in the way. I lost my wife. My child. All because of them. I could raised my son or daughter to know the difference between good which was the Empire and bad which was anything that didn't belong in the Empire.

As I sit in my meditative chamber with my helmet off, I ponder; something I have not done in a _very_ long time.

My breath is rough as it has been since I was fitted with this chamber of gloom and despair. As much as I miss the feeling of the wind, I know that the rest of my life will spent in this kriff of a suit.

Memories of my past come flooding back.

All I see at first is burnt orange skin.

Tano.

She walks at my side, saying nothing. I am the old me. Anakin Skywalker and dressed in the black and brown Jedi robes of my young adult years.

She disappears and Kenobi appears, a smile etched under his ginger beard. Hypocrite.

He too disappears and the image of my beloved Padmé appears.

She appears to be the same as I remember her. Calm. Centred. Beautiful like the first time I saw her on Tatooine as a child. She smiles. The image shifts so that more of her is seen. Her belly is full. Our child. The child that was never born and died with her. The image then fades and she is gone.

I try to call out to her to come back but my voice isn't working. I am instantly snapped back into reality. They weren't _real_ visions. None of what I saw was real. It couldn't have been.

I return my helmet to my head and I activate the chamber hatch, allowing me to exit the chamber. I leave and decide to meditate on what I should do next.

Kenobi.

He is the first voice that enters my mind when I enter meditation.

" _You will learn your place young one."_

I try to ignore it.

Padmé.

Her voice is next in my mind.

" _Ever since I've you, you've been playing with droids."_

Tano.

Her voice is the last in my mind.

" _Stop calling me that! You're stuck with me SkyGuy!"_

I snap out of my meditative state, my breathing heavier then normal.

I close my eyes for a second. I cannot believe I have allowed these memories to resurface. I was nothing as Anakin Skywalker. I am making the galaxy a better place for all.

Tano's existence in the galaxy must be quashed. I will capture her and bring her in for questioning about any surviving Jedi before I end her.

* * *

 _Ezra_

" _We can't just run."_

Ahsoka blacking out made me tremble with fear. I even feel Kanan's shock through the Force as he holds her as she faints. I cannot see them but I know what happened. I feel so… cold. Hera's little hyperspace trick has paid off. We hope that Sith guy was caught in the tractor beam.

As much as that makes me shiver in fear, it was a brilliant move.

I return to my room and wait to be called back to the cockpit. I know its' going to happen once Ahsoka recovers.

After a while Kanan enters my room and tells me that Hera told him that Ahsoka wishes to see us. I knew it.

As we walk silently down the hall towards the cockpit of the Ghost, I feel that something is… off. Not with Kanan but with Ahsoka. I look to Kanan but he ignores me or he tries to. I know him well enough to know that for a fact.

We arrive at the cockpit and Ahsoka ushers us in. We sit.

We talk a little even though it seems that Ahsoka is visibly uncomfortable with the subject matter of the Clone Wars.

Kanan says he recognised the Sith Lord's presence and Ahsoka says she did too.

It appears that they know exactly, or rather Ahsoka knows, whose presence we were feeling. I still feel cold from the two encounters Kanan and I had with the Sith Lord. I know very little about what went on during the Clone Wars and who the bad guys were but from what Kanan has told me, the Sith are worse then any Inquisitors we have or will face.

I ask Ahsoka about the Sith Lord and whether she knew him. I watch as her face grows sad and she shakes her head. I don't know what to make of it at first. Later, when I am back in my room, I think it over. Ahsoka knew more then she was letting on. I know it but I don't press it. I don't even voice it with Kanan as I know he will tell me that it's not worth worrying over, as it was Ahsoka's burden alone to carry. We have much bigger things to worry about.

I wasn't going to argue. I learned that a _long_ timeago.

With Hera and the rest of crew onboard with helping us putting a stop to the Empire, there is a little hope but I worry about Ahsoka and what the Force has in store for Kanan and I and what remains of the Jedi Order. I know I might not have been around during the Jedi Order's golden era but I feel that I was. In a way. After all, I was being taught by a guy that had been a Padawan in the Jedi Order's dying years.

* * *

 _There you have it. I hope it wasn't too disjointed for you. So please let me know what you think through the review box thingy._


End file.
